Who’s shaping you?
In our last post, we talked about how your brain's internal algorithm, the Reticular Activating System (RAS), filters your reality. But there’s an equally powerful force at play: The People.
Through mirror neurons, we naturally mimic the emotions, habits and thinking styles of those around us. If you spend your morning with "Mr. Saboteur" and your lunch with "Miss Miserable," you’re wiring your brain to gravitate downwards. Positive and inspiring people will elevate your thinking and experience.
The Task: Audit Your 3 Circles
Take five minutes today to visualize who is currently "shaping" you. Draw three concentric circles on a piece of paper:
The Core (Center): Write 3–5 names of the people you’re closest to (family or inner-circle friends).
The Middle: Write the names of people you contact at least every couple of weeks.
The Outer: Write the people you see only every few months.
Who’s shaping you?
The Check-in
Look at those names and ask yourself:
Who’s elevating or bringing you down?
Who supports and amplifies you and who sits back and criticises?
Who brings energy to your life and who drains it?
Who’s anchoring you to your past and who’s building your future?
If you became the average of the people you spend most time with, would you be proud of who you are?
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, suggests that the secret to lasting change is to join groups where your desired behavior is normal. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with success. If you want to be optimistic, find the happy people. You don’t have to "cut off" everyone who’s struggling but you need to be intentional about who gets the most "airtime".
take action
Balancing responsibilities with designing your life:
Do you have the people who can guide you, lead you, inspire you, love you, hold you to account, ideate with, have fun with…
Who do you need to limit time with?
What steps can you take to prioritise your connections?
Jim Carrey once said, "The effect you have on others is your most valuable currency.”
How can you make a greater contribution to those whose circles you’re in?
Finally, consider the most important person in your circles: You. How do you interact with yourself? Are you a self-supporter or a self-saboteur? Your own voice is the one you hear the most.