finding what matters most: a simple guide to reconnecting with your values
We live in a world where everything demands your attention—yet very little truly deserves it. The noise, the opinions, the endless performance of “doing well”—it all pulls you outward until you lose touch with your quiet centre.
When that happens, it’s not that life falls apart, it just flattens. The colours fade, but you keep moving. You’re doing all the things the world told you to do but there’s a thinness to it: when did you stop feeling connected to what matters most?
A 2024 Harvard study found that 75% of people have little or no meaning or purpose. Is that you?
If you’ve ever thought, “I feel lost in life - what do I do?” or “How do I reconnect with myself?” - you’re already on the right path. The awareness itself is the beginning of change.
The modern illusion of importance
Part of the problem is that we’ve mistaken urgency for importance. You’re treating whatever shouts loudest as what matters most. That’s usually the next notification, the next plan, obligation or comparison. Guess what: urgency is often just someone else’s importance, dressed up as yours.
You need to realise: you will not find your values in noise. You won’t find them when you speed up, but when you stop. Boredom and daydreaming are your friend, not the enemy. These are the spaces you expand into instead of filling them with distractions and meaningless busyness.
A 2015 study in the National Library of Medicine found a disturbing truth; 67% of men and 25% of women would rather shock themselves than sit in a room alone with their thoughts for ten minutes. That’s how deeply uncomfortable stillness has become and how addicted we are to stimulation.
Why we drift
You don’t lose your values because you’re careless; you lose them because the world is designed to make you forget. It rewards efficiency over depth, visibility over meaning, reaction over reflection.
In that environment, staying connected to what matters isn’t a moral achievement, it’s an act of rebellion.
When people talk about being authentic, it’s often misunderstood. Authenticity isn’t saying whatever you want and calling it “your truth.” It’s listening inwardly and reclaiming your own values rather than borrowing them from culture, colleagues, or family.
Ask yourself:
● What do I truly value?
● What have I been pretending to value because it’s expected of me?
Recognising the difference is the first step toward finding direction in life again.
How to find your way back
You don’t need a grand plan to reconnect with what matters. You need space, attention and a willingness to be honest with yourself.
Try this:
Priorities vs distractions
Think in detail what you did yesterday. Did it reflect your priorities or your distractions? What would a day of your meaningful time have looked like and how can you commit to more of that instead?Create stillness
Turn everything off and sit in stillness for ten minutes. See what comes into your mind, good and bad. What do you make of it? What signals might it be giving you? How addicted did you feel to finding some kind of stimulation?
Finding what matters most isn’t a one-time revelation. It’s a rhythm, remembering, forgetting, remembering again. If you pause long enough, you’ll feel it, that subtle shift when your actions start to echo your truth again.
Take the First Step
Ready to take the first step? That’s why we created Design Your Life, a one-day, in-person transformational workshop in London. It’s not about “fixing” yourself—it’s about taking control of the wheel.
Try our Life Audit Check-list to find out where you’re starting from and how to start making progress today.