Why new year’s resolutions rarely stick - and how to be the exception
The new year gives you a spark, but sparks don’t build anything unless you give them structure. Most of us don't know there is a science for how to stick to goals, which is why most new year’s resolutions fail. We often set avoidance goals and rely on motivation and then wonder why February feels like déjà vu.
Confession time, I know this feeling because I’ve been there myself many times, with anything from reading more to planning my finances and doing yoga. So here’s the thing that makes the difference - you don’t need more discipline, you need a better design.
The problem with resolutions as we know them
Most resolutions are built on two shaky foundations:
Avoidance goals
“Stop eating junk food.”
“Stop scrolling at night.”
“Stop wasting time.”
Motivation alone
“This year I’ll be more disciplined.”
“This time I’ll really mean it.”
Both of these approaches are proven to fail more often than they succeed. A large experimental study found that people with approach‑oriented goals that focus on adopting a positive behaviour were significantly more successful than those with avoidance goals. After one year, 58.9% of people with approach goals were still on track. That’s the difference between “I’m becoming someone who runs three times a week” and “I’m trying to stop being unhealthy.”
But my yoga goal was approach-oriented and I’ve still not cracked it!
Start smaller than you think
One of the biggest reasons resolutions collapse is that we start too big, can’t keep up and then give up. Behaviour change doesn’t work like that. Consistency is much more important than intensity. A successful personal trainer’s strategy is to start his clients on one press-up a day. It feels too easy but that’s what builds momentum. Five minutes of reading a day is 12 books a year. Every small action is a vote for your future identity.
My January 2026 plan is four minutes of yoga every day.
Motivation isn’t the engine, having a plan is
The fresh start effect gives you a burst of energy, but it doesn’t give you a plan. Research consistently shows that having a clear and specific strategy is more predictive of follow-through than motivation alone. We need to start with inspiration, but people succeed because they know exactly what to do next.
Think of it this way: motivation is a mood, but strategy is a system. If you’re relying on a certain mood every time you need to take steps forward, they won’t happen.
For me, “Do I feel like doing yoga today?” has never worked. However, I can’t start my day without a mug of tea, so in January my strategy is this: yoga starts the minute my tea starts brewing.
Design beats discipline
Stop relying on willpower and start designing your environment and your social group. That means thinking about how you can remove friction and make the desired behaviour easier.
A great writer found that his work suffered because he was checking his phone 8-10 times an hour. By leaving it in the other room (only 30 seconds away!) he worked uninterrupted each morning.
Similarly, social contagion research has found that behaviour is most strongly predicted by the people you spend time with now.
As James Clear said, “People don’t rise to the level of their goals. They fall to the level of their systems.” You need to design a system that supports the person you’re becoming, and the behaviour will follow.
For my yoga, I’m leaving my mat and blocks out in the living room the night before.
Identity: The missing ingredient
Most resolutions focus on what you want to do but here’s the thing... the ones that stick focus on who you’re becoming. Here’s how that looks:
“I want to be more productive” is fine but “I’m becoming someone who protects their attention” is better because it introduces alignment and consistency. The actions then stop feeling like chores and start feeling ‘who you believe yourself to be’.
Becoming the Exception
You don’t do this by just trying harder - it’s about making the whole thing easier to do. Pick approach goals, shrink the starting point, build a plan that doesn’t depend on “feeling motivated,” and design your environment so it quietly helps you out. Do that consistently and almost without noticing, you become the kind of person who follows through.
Take the First Step
Ready to take the first step? That’s why we created Design Your Life, a one-day, in-person transformational workshop in London. It’s not about “fixing” yourself—it’s about taking control of the wheel.
Download our Life Audit Checklist to find out where you’re starting from and how to start making progress today.